Various Categories Of Infinite Love Forums

Infinite love forums are very exciting. If you have never been to such forums, you are clearly missing a lot. At infinite love forums, you are able to discuss your entire wish topics. There is a variety of topics and many people can join in the discussions. The following are some of the categories or topics that you will find being discussed. There is the general category where you will find many topics that you can think of. This category will play host to new topics and one thing that you can be assured of is that you will have plenty of fun. In the forum I visited, you will discover that new topics can be introduced by you. If you have any question whatsoever, this is a chance to ask and get real answers to the questions. Many people are becoming more and fonder of online forums and their popularity never ceases to amaze. Another great category that you will find is the spirituality category. This is for all people who feel spiritual. It is a platform to share what your feelings are in regard to spirituality is like. Most people are spiritual and, you will be amazed at the great lessons you learn at the forums.

In the spirituality category of infinite love forums, you will find many topics as introduced by members just like you. Also, you will find topics that have already been selected and, your input will be of great help to many. Another interesting category in the infinite love forums is about art. You will discover or explore the artist within as you get to share on valid lessons that have to do with arts of all forms. This is the opportunity where you can get to express your soul fully as you seek what others can offer in this regard. Remember, art is all about inspiration and we need other things or other people to give us the true inspiration. If you are up for fun and laughter, there is a great category that you can join. It is called the laughter lounge. It is a place in which you can join to make sure that your ribs crack.

Infinite love forums also come with other categories that go like this. Health in your mind and body is the place to find all those informative topics on your well being. You will get to learn tips on how to replenish your body in the best way possible. You health, body and mind are some of the most important aspects of your life. Knowing the things to do to prolong your life is pretty amazing and, you will not be disappointed when you visit this forum. Links to share is another category where you get to interact with people at a deeper level. Conspiracy is a category for all those who want some gossip and issues of that nature. For more, make sure you visit the love forums and you will not be disappointed. You will not just learn great stuff but, you will have a new way of spending your time wisely.
by Francis K. Githinji

Building Self Esteem from Self

Building Self Esteem for most of us is a challenge. I conducted stress management programs for many years and in the program is a segment on the stress of one's self worth. Inevitably 99% of those attending the programs or those I worked with in private practice had significant self esteem issues. These were for the most part professionals who were accomplished with excellent educations. What are the causes of low self esteem?
When each of us was born most likely we were the apple of one or both parent's eyes. As infants we could do no wrong. Of course there are exceptions to every rule and there were a small percentage of us born to the wrong parents-maybe it was a karmic thing. By in large as babies 99% of us were loved by our parents, grandparents, siblings� We were perfect in their eyes. If those feelings of importance would have continued, none of us would have self esteem issues. When did it all change?
Did it change when we cried at night and awakened our parents too often because of colic? Did it happen when we broke an heir loom accidentally? Was it something of this nature that angered our parents and they realized that we were a pain in the butt? Or did they never waiver in their adoration and we did it to ourselves by comparing ourselves with other kids?
I could ask dozens of similar questions and one of them had a "Yes." It could have been as simply being asked what we want to be when we grow up which indirectly says "You're not much now, but one day by doing something like your older brother (sister) you'll be somebody."
Or maybe we learned from our parents, teachers, friends that "self praise stinks" and to love yourself is an egoistical thing to do. So we began to play our value down and we ended up believing we have little value.
Of course we observed others too. We saw that when others were successful at something they felt good about themselves--accomplishments breed self esteem and failure breed self contempt.
When we got compliments from others we felt good about ourselves and when we were criticized or even thought someone might criticize us we felt less about ourselves.
The point is at some point, things changed-either we believed undeserved destructive criticism as one might find in an alcoholic family, or we came to our own conclusions that we were valueless. We compared ourselves with others and fell short. Somehow we learned that to feel good about ourselves we had to be accomplished, married or in love with the right person, educated, socially popular, talented, physically attractive� And as long as we could measure up to these qualities or goals, then we could feel good about ourselves. If we fell short, then we felt less of ourselves.
We even learned that when we're happy we can feel good about ourselves and when we're down, depressed, lonely, in despair, angry, frustrated, we can't feel good about ourselves.
Building self esteem is something you do everyday. It's to realize that:
� Comparing ourselves to anyone else is to kill self esteem.
� Some of our best laid plans will simply fall through.
� We are emotional beings and rather than be ruled by our emotions we can acknowledge them and move through them.
� We each are a child of the universe deserving of feeling good about ourselves regardless of what we do or don't do.
� We only feel less about ourselves because of what we've learned to believe.
� Love of our physical, emotional, and spiritual self is deserved and until we can love ourselves, it's unlikely that another can love us.
� Egotistical people really don't love themselves.
� Out of every fallen plan or disappointment is an opportunity to somehow:
� Benefit from it.
� Move beyond it.
� Learn from mistakes.
� Truly forget about it.
� Let it go.
� Profit from the experience.
And then, most importantly, self esteem is something you build everyday by assuring yourself that when things:
� Work out as planned, you like yourself, and that you are a fine person;
� Fall through and you're disappointed, upset, angry� that you embrace the emotion and likewise like yourself--that you are a fine person regardless of the outcome. Do this daily and feel your self esteem grow.
Richard Kuhns B.S. Ch. E., NGH certified operated a stress management clinic for 17 years, educator and seminar leader for various corporations, and is the author behind the best selling stress management hypnosis self help cds at http://www.DStressDoc.com and new treatment for anxiety panic attack using wakened hypnosis at http://www.PanicBusters.com

Staying Positive When It Seems Impossible!

Staying Positive When It Seems Impossible
We all know the power of positive thinking. Yet, when the going gets tough, staying positive is a challenge. Your husband lost his job, your daughter failed her exams and the car needs a new transmission. That doesn�t even cover the migraine you had for days or your project deadline. Too much at once! You peak at this little book on your desk entitled: Pick Yourself Up And Go. Oh No! Not another book about positive thinking. This author has no idea what you are going through!

Why do once positive people fall victim to negativity when the forces work against them. Primarily, because they blame themselves when unfortunate circumstances pop up. We wonder how our thoughts and actions contributed to our present misery. If in fact our thoughts and actions were deciding factors, the more reason to stay positive from here on. We are what we think!

Thinking positively followed by positive actions is key to positive outcomes. Staying positive is a conscious decision and it is work. Staying positive is difficult when the world is caving in, but we must take the first step, even if we can�t see the whole stairway. Theorizing about being positive is never enough, instead we must act. Imagine you want to get in shape. Daydreaming about being on the treadmill, albeit a helpful vision, will not get you in shape. You must step up to the plate and do it! Staying positive is much the same. Turn the steps below into action. Don�t analyze - just do it and watch positive outcomes unfold:
Stay away from winners and complainers even if they are your best friends
Spend time with those who lift you up
Ask your friends and family for help
Make a list of 10 things that you like about yourself
If you can�t find sane people, go to a playground children inspire like nothing else
Rescue a puppy from the pound you wont have time be negative
Avoid TV, in particular the news. Unless your life is in danger the world can wait
Read that little book on your desk and others (the authors do know)
Get in touch with God
Listen to inspiring music
Eat healthy food
Have fresh flowers
Keep up your exercise program or start one
Learn a new skill
Live in the now
No matter how terrible you feel, follow these steps. When you are at your worst do all of the above at once: Ask your best friend to clean your house, take your I-pod, roller-blade to the playground with your puppy behind you, build a sand castle with the kids. Return to a clean home, enjoy a healthy meal (don�t forget that glass of wine), download Spanish for dummies and get right into it. Call an inspiring friend, read the list of positives about you, and take an inspiring book to bed. You just did all in one day!
Staying positive is achieved by conditioning your mind with positive thoughts and actions. By being actively positive you will seek solutions instead of problems and increase your success rate at anything you do. Commit yourself to these steps above and allow the process to unfold.

Reduce Your Stress Simply: Excerpted From Life's Little How To Book

Sample Chapter 1:

Reduce Your Stress Simply

Stress is an everyday part of life. You can't avoid it, but you can do certain things to alleviate it. In our society, people try to reduce stress in a variety of negative ways, such as taking over- the-counter drugs, overeating, and watching television. I'm going to suggest some positive steps you can take to reduce stress. First of all, consider your answers to the following questions:

Do you often get a headache?

Do you notice yourself holding your breath?

Do your shoulders and back often feel tense?

Do you have trouble sleeping?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have the symptoms of stress. If you don't heed your body's warning signals and do something about your stress, you may end up with a stress-related illness such as heart disease, cancer, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure, impotence, chronic low back pain, and respiratory problems. You need to focus on positive ways to reduce the effects of stress. The following are suggestions of what you can do:

Exercise. Exercising regularly is one of the most effective ways of reducing the tension in your body. Examples include bike riding, weight lifting, swimming, and jogging. Pick an exercise program that you enjoy, which will keep you motivated, and one that you are physically capable of doing. Be careful not to overdo it or to do an exercise that might exacerbate any existing physical problems or injuries.

Practice deep breathing. When we're stressed, our breathing is often shallow and short. Taking long, slow, deep breaths can prevent you from tensing up and developing a headache. For two weeks practice the following deep breathing exercise three times a day for fifteen minutes: Take a comfortable position and put one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest. Slowly breathe in through your nose, hold it for a couple of seconds, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. If your chest rises more than your stomach, you're breathing from your chest, which is one of the symptoms of stress. Be sure to breathe from your abdomen. Practicing this exercise regularly will help to change your breathing pattern. Then, when you catch yourself stressing out, you can stop and breathe deeply for a few minutes.

Imagine a peaceful, relaxing place. Sometimes when we are in stressful situations, it is helpful to visualize being in a relaxing place. It helps our minds to clear, the tension to leave our bodies, and enables us to recoup our emotional and physical strength. When I'm stressed out, I imagine myself walking along the ocean, listening to the sound of the waves, smelling the cool refreshing air, feeling the warm sun against my face. For many people, the idea of having a "relaxing place" is new, so at the end of this chapter I've provided some questions that will help you create your own special relaxing place a place that is unique to you. Once you have this place in your mind, you will be able to visit it whenever the need arises.

Talk to someone you trust. When you're upset, holding your feelings inside doesn't help. It's better to share your feelings with someone you trust. Your problem may not be solved, but talking about your negative feelings will help to reduce your stress.

Maintain good eating and sleeping habits. When you don't eat or sleep right, your body feels stressed. Eat healthy foods and get six to eight hours of sleep a night.

Manage your time effectively. When you're not getting everything done, you're going to feel stressed. Sit down and prioritize what you need to do. Give more time to the activities that are important and less time to those that aren't. By scheduling and organizing your time, you're more likely to get things done and thus feel less stressed.

Think realistically. Sometimes our negative thinking makes things seem worse than they really are. For example, let's say your boss appears to have an angry look on his face, and you conclude that he's angry with you. The truth is, he might be stressed out for reasons of his own. Perhaps he doesn't feel well or has fallen behind on a deadline. Look at the facts before you jump to conclusions.

Laugh. Laughing releases endorphins that can help reduce stress. Look at the light side of life. Watch a funny movie. Read a humorous novel or a book of jokes.

Do something pleasant for yourself. Get a massage, take a trip, or have dinner at your favorite restaurant. You can also engage in pleasant activities that don't involve money. For example, take a hot bath, go for a nice walk, have a picnic at the park, or curl up with a good book.

Use aromatherapy in your home. The fragrances of aromatherapy, which are usually derived from flower and plant oils, powders, and resins, are designed to reduce stress and affect the mood. Some popular aromas are lavender, sandalwood, juniper, rosemary, jasmine, and rose. Scented candles, incense, and potpourris are examples of aromatherapy. Each person is different, so experiment until you find a smell that calms and relaxes you.

Create a relaxing home environment. Your home should be a place where you can refresh and rejuvenate yourself. You don't need to remodel, just accessorize the space to create a stress-free oasis. Soothing accessories can include pictures of loved ones, fresh or scented flowers, plants, indoor water fountains, artwork, and health and beauty magazines. Have fun making your home stress free and completely relaxing!

Let go of the things you can't control. Many aspects of our environment are beyond our control, and overstressing about them wastes our time and energy. For example, you can't change how other people drive or your spouse's annoying little habits, and you can't avoid being laid off from work or a death in the family. Remind yourself to be realistic about what you can and can't control and don't cause yourself unnecessary stress.

Avoid people who are demeaning or irritating. Mean people are toxic. They drain your energy, stress you out, and make you feel bad about yourself. Avoid them. Choose instead to spend time with people who are friendly, positive, and supportive.

Be assertive. Let people know what you think, feel, and want. You have a right to stand up for yourself without bullying others or allowing them to bully you. Stress occurs when you let others take advantage of you. Practice with friends and family. Especially if there's an issue that's stressing you out, take some time to rehearse what you're going to say. Being prepared in a situation will reduce the tension. Once you've practiced being assertive, you'll be able to draw on your assertiveness whenever the need arises.

Seek support. If you find the stress and anxiety overwhelming, then seek professional help from a counselor who works with clients who have trouble reducing their stress. You can also attend a support group, workshop, or class that teaches stress-management techniques.

Activity

After completing the questions, use the answers to write a paragraph about your "relaxing place." Start off by thinking about a place where you feel relaxed.

What do your surroundings look like?

What colors do you see?

What do you smell?

What do you hear?

How does your body feel when you're relaxed in this place?

What is the name of your relaxing place?
by: Jaleh Donaldson

How Do We Get Out Of This Mess?

We have a problem, a big problem, we have been traveling the wrong path, somehow, at sometime we took a wrong turn and now it is wake up time. The big question now is having gained ever more momentum in traveling this road, can we turn around, slow down,or change dirrection. It would seem that we do not have so much time to find out.

How on earth did we get here? What went wrong? It is as though during the process of evolution we lost something, forgot something very important, or maybe we just turned our backs upon it.

Whichever it was, taking one step back and looking at the evolution of mankind, it is a strange and un nerving experience. Whichever way you look at it, there can be no denying that of all life forms with whom we share our world, we have developed and evolved in a very unique and bizarre way.

In just about every aspect of our advancement and evolvement we have behaved in, to quote Dr Spock "a very illogical way".

Examples are to be found all around us, all it takes is a break from the grindstone and pressures of life. To just stop for one moment and try to take a look from a different perspective, to try and see through fresh and disspationate eyes. Ok a few examples....... Ok here are a few for starters.

The most dangerous man on this planet.....Is making war on terror, "in order to make the world a safer place". Sorry, run that past me again!

The greatest International soft drinks company produce a product that rots teeth and God knows what else........and they target kids in their advertising campaign.

The greatest International fast food enterprise produce food that has now been proven to be at best junk and at worst seriously harmful to health...and yes it is aimed at children. What does this say, what does this tell you about human values. Is it not the greatest of measures nobility & civilisation that the strong should protect the weak and that the children should be at the forefront of our care and protection.

I am not anti American, but the plain fact is America has for some time now been at the forefront of consumerism and our current evolutionary direction. America has been telling the world now to follow them, become as them and they have even attacked countries that strongly dissagree with them.

Can we learn anything from the above,do we even have time to consider the implications, are we even interested in what all of this could mean? To me it indicates that we as a species have become hopelessly lost, that our sense of basic human values has been lost and that we have, as a species morally lost our way.

We regard ourselves as superior to all the other life forms with whom we share our world. Let's see how dumb they are.

Take the animals that we are most familiar with, closest too, cats and dogs Even they seem to share qualities that we no longer have qualities that we do not even consider important. `Blow cigarette smoke in the direction of a cat, or dog, runs away right? We the smart ones not only breath it in, we like it!

Again dogs and cats. There are countless tales of these animals getting lost, or left behind, from a house move and finding their way, sometimes 1,000,s of miles to their owners. How do they do that, what was guiding them?

In truth the magic and magnificance of creation surrounds us all, but we have become blind to it, or worse we no longer care to consider its importance. The wildlife that still retains that so important connection we dismiss with ill considered explanations. Yes of course birds can migrate maybe 1,000,s of miles its in their genes we say and dismiss it as unimportant. What is in their genes, what is guiding them?

Fish, put Koi Carp in a small pond and they will not grow very much and probably not mate either. transfer those same fish to a bigger pond and they will both grow and mate. How do they do that, what is guiding them?

Really the list is endless, we are in fact surrounded by a world of wonders and inspiration, but can we see, can we learn, or at least be in awe of these incredible and wonderful capabilities. Is it possible that somewhere along the road that we as a race have been travelling for milleniums we lost something, could it be that we lost a very precious quality? That we have become disconnected to the very thread of existence and in losing that connection, we have in actual fact completely lost our way?

Maybe there is something, some spark within us that lies dormant, some faint inborn connection to something that we no longer undertand? Star Wars was a monster hit across the world and the "force" that central theme of these movies, was portayed as an achievable connection to an inner guiding strength, a power within. Could it be. The Indian Fakirs able to overcome bodily limitations, even to the point of slowing their very heartbeat to a point close to, medically definable death. Throughout the ages there have been signs and signals, that there is more to being a human being than soley the physical and material. The magicians of legend, the saints and the sages and the prophets have all tried to advise us, but we seem to be unable to understand, or have time to discover individually this connection. We seem now to be obsessed only with the material and pysical aspects of being alive.

How far have we come in terms of awareness, in terms of being human? Have we even evolved, or become any wiser at all? Is not the mentality behind the creation of the atom bomb equal, or the same as the mentality of the caveman milleniums ago on making the first club. Is there in fact any indication at all that we have become wiser? Are not both of these developments based on the same fears, the same agressive tendencies and the same feelings of being alone, distrustful or apart from our fellow man. A species that for personal financial gain will produce food, or drink that is actually harmful to his fellow humans. A species that will put into those same products chemicals to either enhance the flavour, or prolong the life of the product, that is again provably harmful to human life.

If this was not insane enough these same products are very often aimed at the children. Is it not our moral duty to protect our children? Of course we are destroying the planet, why not? We have been working hard at destroying each other it seems; since we learnt how walk on two legs.
by: Terrence Aubrey

Keeping an Inventory of Ourselves

Our behavior is pretty much ruled by our pride. Our emotions and our actions are of self-will. We want our lives to be in perfect order as WE would like them. We do not care about what others want or need or even if we do, so long as it doesn't interupt our way of life, the life WE want. If we want something bad enough, we'll do whatever it takes to get it. Some break the law of man, while others break the Law of God.

There are seven deadly sins that are in tune with human behavior: Pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth. Pride is the root of all sin and it keeps us seperated from God. One must tone down his pride so he can put God and others first. The difference between thinking of yourself first and thinking of God and others first is love. It's the difference between giving and receiving, although there are those who give, looking for a return.

When we think of ourselves first we want. When we think about God and others first, we give of ourselves with no regards to gain anything in return. Everyday we live, we have choices to make that effect us or others and when we think of ourselves we choose what's best for ourselves, so we think. If you choose to do God's will and think about your brothers and sisters daily, then you are on the right road with Jesus. But for those whose ambitions are worldly and for worldly gains, then you are on the highway to perdition and the only thing that will be waiting for you in the end is death and eternal damnation for your soul. God wants us to keep things simple and in order. God is not about calamity, our own will is.

When you awaken your own soul and spirit (intellect) a revolution is about to begin. Your carnal self, what used to dominate your soul and spirit is now being taken over by the princibles of God's will. Your flesh is suddenly losing control over its normal faculties. Its normal faculties pertain to worldly ambitions and bodily desires.

This life here is short compared to eternity. Nothing this world has to offer is lasting. Just when you think you have job security, you get laid off. Just when you think you have financial security a catastrophe happens. Just when you think you have good health, you fall ill. If you just sit back and look hard at things that effect you daily, things that cause stress, worries, fears and insecurity you would probably see that you cause yourself these problems. Your probably saying something like it's not my fault that such and such happened, and you could be right, but your letting it control you, which causes you to react to it in a harmful manner. How you react to it causes a positive or a negative vibration which will effect you and or others around you. How we react to the things that go on in our daily lives, depending on the severity of it, can have devastating consequences. Not only to others, but to ourselves as well. This is why it is so important to keep a low profile.

If you work, do your job 100%, if not a little more. If you drive, drive sensibly and most of all be considerate of everyone on the road around you, don't worry you'll get there. Try not to ripple the ponds of people around you. Don't complain, things could be worse. Don't talk about people, it's gossip. Don't talk excessivly or about things that have no value. Mind your own bussiness, don't be so curious. Don't boast. Don't think your somebody special, your not. Do not try to justify your sinful actions. Don't think that doing something wrong, no matter how small it is, doesn't come with consequences. Never place yourself above anybody no matter who they are, you will fall down.

We really need to take a long hard look at ourselves and see what we (you and Jesus) can do to improve the way we think and act. There are those who can't live their own life. They need to be dependant on others. They don't want to make their own decisions, basically out of fear. They would rather have people tell them what they need to do. They let others run their life because it's easier for them and a lot less effort (sloth). They're constantly afraid of making decisions. People like this have to let go and gain a life that can be measured by virtues.

God wants us to lean on Him and His blessed Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit. He doesn't want us to be wimps and lean on man for security. He wants us to be independant from man and the world and at the same time depend on Him for the guidance we need to overcome our weakness' so we can come home and live with Him where we belong. God's love is true and pure and uncreated, unlike man's love which is created. We desperately need to overcome ourselves if we plan on living with God in His kingdom. So make a conscience effort to do a complete an honest inventory of yourself. And don't forget to ask Jesus for His help. May God Bless You Dearly
by: John Park

The Law of Attraction, Television & You

The law of attraction tells us that you bring into your life that which you put your attention on. The secret to life is to put your attention on what serves you and take your attention away from what does not serve you.

Does your spiritual growth come from the television? Does television spew forth spirituality information? We know it uses religion a lot to send its messages but is that the same as spiritual enlightenment? We often create a habit of watching television no matter what it is that we are watching.

We get into a habit of talking bad about others and ourselves and it just seems normal to us. Our environment seems to encourage us to play a role in life that has nothing to do with who we really are. We get feedback daily from the television that encourages us to make decisions that stifle our thinking and therefore our creativity. Our non-conformity conforms to the marketing plans that bombard us daily.

Hey, here's a novel idea. Don't turn on the television. It's just an idea but think about it. The immutable universal law of attraction tells us that we attract into our life that which we put our attention on.

If you watch three to four or more hours of television a day you are putting a lot of attention on whatever it is that you are watching. If you just did this for one day it wouldn't affect you much, but if you do this every day and maybe a little more on the weekends, then you can begin to see the cumulative effect that this has on the overall input into what you think.

Let's just take one aspect of television and examine how it influences our lives. Remember these are just words. These are words that we are receiving through our physical sense of hearing with the addition of a visual context that adds emphasis to the overall message.

We are going to look at the national evening news. It doesn't matter which network you are tuned to because they all say the same things. Every night we are subjected to the lead story, which is the most sensational story of the day. My dictionary defines sensational as: 1. Arousing intense interests 2. Intended to shock, thrill, etc. (Kind of sounds like a carnival show)

Let's examine this daily input into our thoughts. The commentator has been carefully selected and programmed to create an image of fairness and trust. We are supposed to trust this fair-minded person who is relaying the news of the world to us in an unbiased way. That is the image that they all project to us.

We are lead to believe that they are doing us a great service by reporting to us the information, that puts into summary form, what has happened that particular day that they feel is important to you. Have they ever asked you what is important to you? Or are they trying to tell you what is important to you?

This is how subtle it is and how easy it is to influence collective thinking. Just the mere fact that you are listening to the news means that you are going to be influenced by the news. You may not have had a thought about being sick but the nightly news report tells you there is a national epidemic of the flu going around and, all of a sudden, you begin to wonder if you are going to get the flu. You feel fine but you now have a thought in your head that you might get the flu.

They take a commercial break and the first advertisement is for flu medicine. You didn't have a thought in your head about being sick just five minutes ago but now you are thinking to yourself that you should probably get some flu medicine tomorrow. You are susceptible to the flu, the nightly news just told you the flu bug is going around and you were fortunate enough to see an advertisement for flu medicine.

The next morning you wake up with a sniffle. You tell yourself, via your thoughts, that you are getting the flu. You go to work and tell a co-worker that you have the flu and will probably miss work in a few days because that is how the flu works on you. Lo and behold, you develop more flu-like symptoms and you become so sick that you can't go to work for a couple of days.

That's how subtle it is and that's how powerful our thoughts and words are. The flu example is bad enough but we are being fed much more sensational news than the flu bug. We are being fed huge doses of fear daily. Morning, noon, and night we are being told, via words on the news that we must live in fear of just about everything that is happening in the world.

We are told to fear the weather, fear earthquakes, fear the flu, fear the poor, fear our enemies, fear our school systems, fear foreigners, fear our food, fear children who commit crimes, fear the environmentalists, fear just about everything. This is the “news” that we subject ourselves to daily.

Now, I am not saying if this is right or wrong. I am only saying that in my observation this is what is so.

One final observation. I will let you answer this yourself since you are the only one who really matters here. Do you believe that the television news is based mostly in fear or in love? What is your answer?

Here's the kicker question. “Does that serve you
by: Richard Blackstone

How To Make Many Friends Easily

How to make many friends easily..

With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable. How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.

Becoming Likable:

Setting the Stage
Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature. As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier. Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. So if the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.

In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds/cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds. By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what appproach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them. When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend. Like if know this person is really passionate about cars, I will ask a question with the minimum knowledge I have about something that he knows or thinks he knows a lot about.

Now you set the stage for Mike who will love to tell me exactly why the Mitsubishi EVO is better. When someone is knowledgeable about something it’s in their nature to tell you because it is one more opportunity for them to show how great or smart they are. You have to cater to their ego and never test or contradict their ideas, because their ego will not accept someone who is supposed to know less tell them they are possibly wrong. If I would have told him that I heard that the Subaru WRX is better, we would have just gotten in an argument that he would not have backed out of. But I didn’t and now they will love me for it, because I was taking interest into what he enjoys.

Body Language

Whenever you approach someone for the very first time your body language will do most of the talking and the other person will immediately have a first impression of you. So you must always be aware that whatever you say your body is also in agreement. If you say one thing and your body says the opposite you will come out as someone fake. We have all seen the girl that walks up to another girl and says “I’m so happy to see you…how you been?....you look so good…” but their body language is saying “what are you doing here….I’m not really listening to what your saying” this is easily seen and can be one of the rudest things you can do in trying to make new friends. Always approach someone with open gestures and a smile. If you approach someone with crossed arms, this will automatically make the other person defensive and question your motives. Approach them with open arms and a gentle smile, smiling is infectious if the other person has a stern look on their face the moment youapproach them with a smile you will gradually notice that they will smile too. This usually sets it up for a good conversation because both people are in good moods. Try this - if you’re in a neutral mood right now, put a big smile on your face for no reason if you pay attention you can feel your body changing and your mood immediately start to change. People who are in good moods will place a lot more importance to what you have to say.

Questions and Listening

Your next goal is to sincerely try to find out as much as you can about the person. Ask quality questions; find out what is important to the person, goals, beliefs, interests, etc. The key is to be sincere so the person feels comfortable and is more likely to open up. Try to have a calm demeanor refrain from being overly eager as this might scare the person. You must be able to match the mood of the person. If the person is excited to tell you a story you must become excited as well. If the person is telling you a sad story you must show sincere empathy. Be open minded and really listen to the person.

Listening: Try to listen at least twice as much as you talk. Listening requires more than just pretending to listen or simply hearing a person talk. Listening and hearing are two completely different things and the person can tell if you’re really listening to them, or simply hearing them speak. Being a good listener is a skill, you must become an active listener. Remember this is all about the other person, who cares if you don’t get to talk about your self. In the end the other person will love you for it. They will tell their friends

“Man I really enjoyed talking to that person”….why is that? Was he a very interesting person? “You know what…I really don’t know why…I really don’t know much about him”

This shouldn’t bother you because in the end you greatly benefited from the situation as well. If you’re an effective listener you will gain a better understanding of that person’s thoughts, perspectives, feelings and actions. You have to remember that most people would rather talk than listen, but most of the time this person is not very influential. Take this as an opportunity to become more persuasive and influential.

Sometimes the problem with most people is that listening to them doesn’t have much value. They feel that in order to get people to like them they must do a great deal of the talking. Think about that for a minute, how do you like it when another person is talking so much that when you try and say something they still keep talking. You eventually quit listening to that person because you got to annoyed. Now sometimes you don’t need to do most of the listening, you constantly need to evaluate the situation. Sometimes people really want to hear what you have to say. In this situation still try and get the other person involved and flip around the question that they just asked you.

People who talk too much

1. People always talk about them behind their backs

2. In group settings they feel they always need to say something just to feel like they are contributing.

3. Usually have very big egos

4. They ask questions that they already have the answers too

5. Because they are so focused on having something to say aren’t even listening to what someone is saying.

People Who Listen Effectively

1.Get the whole picture, than they can act accordingly.

2.Everyone loves a good listener so you will make tons of friends.

3.No one talks bad about you, who ever said “man that kid just loves to listen too much”

Good listening is going to really take effort. The reason is that people can think a lot faster than people can speak. What ends up happening is that you begin to think of other things as that person is speaking. Than you become consumed with those thoughts. Next thing you know the other person asks you “So than do you think I did the right thing”. You weren’t listening so you have no idea what to say. This is one of biggest turn offs in trying to become friends with that person.

Things to avoid when Listening

Don’t Interrupt

Because you have the upper hand by thinking faster than someone who is speaking, you will become tempted to interrupt. Don’t because the other person will get the feeling that you don’t care what they are saying and want to bring back the topic of conversation to you. The other person might also have great momentum going in telling you a story, but when you interrupt them their story doesn’t carry as much feeling when they go back to speaking. You also show that you are one of those people who enjoy speaking more than being a good listener. When you interrupt you are also making assumptions of what you think the other person is about to say. This might cause you to miss out completely different information. Because you interrupted them the other person might not even want to continue telling you about it.

Don’t Finish Other Peoples Sentences

Don't Offer Advice too Soon

Compliments + Appreciation

The way to make people feel important is through sincere compliments and appreciation. Most people go out their way to do something, to get other people to notice them, yet most people don’t. Get in the habit of noticing the little things about people. In the end the little things are what matter and what end up making a person unique so pay attention. Next time you see them, be the first to give them a sincere compliment on something even as simple as their hair cut. By making other people feel good about them selves you should also feel good for doing it, it’s a win win situation.

Many times people walk around with the mentality that other people owe them something, nobody owes you anything. Whenever anybody does anything for you show your appreciation and let them know you don’t take anything for granted. Be spontaneous get the person a small gift when they don’t expect it.

Encouragement

Once you find out what is truly important to someone you must provide encouragement. Everyone has dreams and aspirations. Be the one who encourages them to pursue their goals. Any insight or information that’s empowering will provide a boost to their confidence. Most people are so afraid of failure that they will not pursue their goals. They will give you all the reasons why their goals are out of reach. Your goal should be to switch their focus on the negative reasons to the ways how they can make it happen. You have to remember that whatever we focus on becomes our reality, so when you focus only on the negative aspects that’s all you will see. When they give you a reason why they can’t do it, ask them if that’s really a reason or a mere excuse. If they are excuses show them how destructive it is to be in this mental state. Make them realize that all their hopes and dreams are in danger all because of petty excuses. One of the best feelings you will get in dealing with people, is when you get another person excited about his goals or ideas. Now that the person is excited you need to point them in the right direction. Help them research the world they want to be in; find out as much relevant information. Help them create a plan and deadlines that will help them reach their goals. Start with small attainable goals, this will help them gain momentum and than move onto more challenging goals. By being active in the whole process you will build a deeper and more influential relationship with that person. He will not see you as a mere friend but as an ally in their journey to success.

Plan and Organize Social Events

One of the best ways to develop a meaningful experience with someone is through a social event. Whenever you participate in an event or trip your relationship with those people will become even greater. When I studied abroad in Prague I have never developed such strong relationships in such a short amount of time. I met people from all over the world and on the weekends we would take trips to other countries. On these trips I made incredible bonds, because everyone was on an adventure of experiencing new things together. Experiences are always magnified with more people involved. Just think about when you are watching a funny movie all by yourself you begin to laugh but than realize no one is there to enjoy the moment with you and your experience is quickly diminished .

I hope all these pointers will help everyone become more influential, take care and much success to everyone!
by: Ivan Campuzano
http://www.howtogetyourshineon.com

Relationship Help for Women: Letting Go and Facing Forward

There are therapists and dating experts who teach those of us who are still entangled, bound, wrapped up in and held by a lover who is no longer a happy part of our lives, how to let go.
It is said that you can't enter a new relationship while you're still tied to the old. That you must release this person to leave room in your life and your heart for your true soulmate to come on in.
It's a fact that our bodies and hearts get connected to those we love and have sex with. It's chemical, and spiritual, and emotional, and it doesn't just go away because we say goodbye. And it's true that every time we have the same thought about that goodbye, we experience the same feeling we felt when it happened.
And yet, it's romantic. Lost love is romantic. Pining is romantic. Yeats and Keats and Lord Byron are romantic. Singing about love isn't as romantic as singing about the love that got away. Longing makes me feel alive. It taps into my imagination and takes me to a place of romance and lust and passion that this daily life of recycling, cleaning the kitchen, working and cuddling don't even graze. And it taps into my pain. What is it about pain that feels so, well – romantic?
Many of us have pain and love hooked up in such a way that easy-going men don't feel romantic to us. Nice men who don't intend to hurt us feel like old shoes. The pointy, spindly ones that'll kill our backs and crunch our toes are the shoes and the men we want. Even while we're wearing running shoes, we're dreaming of stilettos. And we fault men for thinking like this.
Letting go, to me, is a moment by moment act and triumph of courage. Not just letting go of a person, but of a state of mind, a thought of pain that leads to a feeling of pain that then feels so powerful, passionate, poetic and sexy that it trumps everything else around.
Letting go of a person is much easier than letting go of pain. Because if I once let go of the pain of missing someone, anyone, I would feel not just free – but alone. I would come face to face with my serious belief that I will always be alone if I don't hold on. To that man, that thought, that job, that routine. And to hold on, I have to, literally, hold on. Hold on to any man who comes into my space. Hold on to a plan. Hold on to hope. The pain, the plan, the hope fills the void if the man can't.
What if you could let go of the belief that you'll be alone because no one's there just yet? What if you could believe he's there, if only you could see him through the fog of poems, pain, and stilettos? What if, instead of hope, we could operate on faith? What if, instead of hoping we'll meet Mr. Right, or the man we're married to will suddenly turn into Mr. Right, we could simply trust that he's there, if only we'd consider the possibility that he doesn't look the way we thought he should – that instead of bringing pain, longing, holding on, and stilettos, he'd show up with roses, running shoes, and the absolute knowledge that you're the one for him. He might be right.
How to do it? If you were working toward releasing a person who was once loving you and now is not, you would cut off contact, focus on yourself, and practice becoming aware of how your thoughts continually float back to him and the pain of the breakup. You would practice gently redirecting those thoughts – away from him and pain and toward yourself and your future. What if, in the same way, you could release the past altogether? And by the past, I mean the moment that just passed. The one that will never be again, but which left traces of emotional, spiritual and physical connection behind. The one that drags us, longing, pining and in stilettos, back to live it all over again. Over and over.
So turn around. Put your back to the moment that just passed. Use your imagination. Put your back to the person who is no longer loving you. Put your back to the pain, the longing, the holding on. Face out. Face where you want to be. Is it a mountain? A lake? A beach? Who are you with? Yourself, your new, ideal, perfect, fabulously loving lover, a friend? What is it you actually see for yourself in this new direction?
Keep your back turned to the pain, and your face to what you see ahead. Step out. Literally, now, take a step forward. Allow your future to pull on you. Walk up the mountain. Wander onto the beach. Stare in wonder at the sunset. If you can imagine it, you can make it up any way you want. If it feels scary, you can step out slowly and get used to it. If you can keep facing forward and keep stepping forward, you can change your thoughts, change your feelings, change your reality.
If you find yourself at the market, or Starbucks, or the theater, alone and miserable, or with someone you're indifferent to, turn around from that thought. Literally spin 180 degrees and look elsewhere. There will be something new there. Something good will happen. Someone new will step into frame. The person you're with will become more of a real person and less of a poor substitute. Your life will go forward.
Surrender to faith in yourself. Surrender to the impossibility of knowing what's around every corner. Surrender, not to longing, but to the pleasurable possibilities of what's around the corner. Surrender to this idea: Romance is wonderful, love is not painful, and shoes can look good and feel good too. Stilettos are overrated.
by: Rori Gwynne

Self-Love Empowers You

When you think of personal empowerment, you probably think of qualities like strength, confidence, courage and tenacity – but did you know that self-love is also an important aspect of empowerment?

When you truly love yourself . . .

• You treat yourself with respect and kindness. You set firm boundaries in your life, you devote time and attention to proper self-care, and you consider your personal time to be a high priority. Feeling loved and cared for automatically makes you feel more balanced and strengthened from within.

• You expect fair treatment from others too. No longer do you find yourself settling for less than you deserve or allowing others to take advantage of you. Instead, a strong level of self-love gives you the courage to stand up for yourself.

• You have a greater sense of self-awareness and self-knowledge. Loving and accepting yourself helps you to feel more connected to your authentic self, which inspires confidence and assurance in who you are.

There are many more ways that self-love can help you feel more empowered, but more important is knowing how to begin loving yourself. If you’ve spent the majority of your life feeling negatively about yourself it might seem like an impossible task to suddenly bring forth feelings of genuine self-love, but it’s probably easier than you think!

First and foremost, it’s important to spend quality time alone on a regular basis so you can get to know yourself. You can explore and discover your interests and passions, indulge in some favorite hobbies, write your thoughts and feelings in a journal, or simply dream and plan for your future.

Make time to relax and do the things you love. Listen to uplifting music, read great books, stimulate your creativity by exploring your artistic talents, or take classes on topics that interest you. Nurture yourself as often as possible. Go easy on yourself when you’re not feeling well, and pamper yourself when you feel the need for a little comforting.

Buy nice things for yourself. Speak kindly to yourself. Romance yourself! Take long walks on the beach and gaze up at the stars at night. Buy a beautiful greeting card, write an encouraging note inside and mail it to yourself.

Most importantly, be sure to look at yourself in the mirror every day and say, “I love you. You’re a great person and you deserve the best that life has to offer.”

All of these activities are simply suggestions, of course. Follow your heart and do what feels right to you. As long as you’re doing things that make you feel loved and cared for, you can’t help but feel happy, fulfilled and empowered!
by: Iain Legg